“Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.” ~ Terry Real

 

Trauma and dysfunction are not just the buzzwords for the year, but it is the reality of what most people live with today. Some may not admit it, or they may not recognize the damage they have experienced. I had a horrible marriage, betrayed, abandoned, and even rejected by people I loved dearly. So, I moved 3K miles away to get a better life to leave it all behind for a far better life, But I found myself in the same situations again and again.  Only the places and faces were different. I still did not understand why.

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I have coached and mentored hundreds of men and women in one capacity or another. Giving advice, speaking on healing, and writing about it. Never knew I needed it myself. (I am NOT a counselor or therapist.) I decided to heal and break the cycles of my past at the end of 2017 when I had been grieving my bonus son’s (he was mine) death, and I was going through some major relationship issues, personally and professionally.

 

It was God who helped me see that there was a pattern and a web I was spinning in and had been for decades! What I discovered was these repeated occurrences were a symptom of a greater issue. Thus, began my great awakening. I learned that my inner child was seeking to be healed. My hurting inner child showed up as the “strong one” the “Superwoman”. I learned that this is trauma and it is very dysfunctional. Unfortunately, my hurt has indirectly caused hurt for my children. It is time to raise children to become adults who do not have to recover and heal from their pasts. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou

 

It was a journey, and it continues because healing from trauma and family dysfunction is lifelong work. In sharing my awakening with others, I found out that more people than myself are struggling with this same issue but just do not know what to call it. I describe my life and background as being a very "colorful" one. It is my prayer and intention that what is written will echo in your soul and shake up anything in you  that needs to be healed.